Another bad joke.

[Dan]

Ordinarily, I don't re-distribute jokes I get in the email, but as a long suffering Colorado Native, I found this one irresistible.

Broncos practice suspended



Associated Press, Denver, CO

Updated: 1:15 p.m.MT, Oct 13, 2007



Denver Broncos football practice was delayed nearly 2 hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.



The head coach immediately suspended practice while Denver police and Federal Investigators were called in to investigate.



After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the White substance unknown to the players was the goal line.



Practice was resumed after special agents determined the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

--30--

Dan

[nick.stumpos]

haha as a long time visitor to colorado and a fan of denver sports teams, right behind detriot of course. I find this hilarious, unfortunately for me this joke is far more accurately applied to my detriot lions, my god have mercy on their souls

[Dies]

Originally Posted by Nickisgod1

haha as a long time visitor to colorado and a fan of denver sports teams, right behind detriot of course. I find this hilarious, unfortunately for me this joke is far more accurately applied to my detriot lions, my god have mercy on their souls

Yeah they suck.

[Seve]

Hello:

You know how to keep Lions out of your backyard ?

Put up a goal post ..

Seve

MARRIED LIFE - MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP, SUCH A HAPPY ENDING !

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although
very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his
old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know... they
have frozen glasses. "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by
saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug
out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar
they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be
long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out
5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,
mushroom caps, and little quiches.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar you know there's swearing, dirty words
and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?

LISTEN UP CHICKEN S**T! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK
YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE
YOUR MARRIED ASS AIN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT S**T IS OVER, GOT
IT, JACKASS?"

and....they lived happily ever after.

Isn't that a sweet story???

Wayne

-A Swiss man, needing directions to his destination, pulls up at a bus
stop where two American tourists are waiting.

"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.

The two Americans just stare at him.

"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries.

The two continue to stare.

"Parlare Italiano?"

No response.

"Hablan ustedes Español?"

Still nothing.

The Swiss man drives off, extremely disgusted.

The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we
should learn a foreign language."

"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't
do him any good."

Wayne

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at
him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where
he knows her from.

So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to
his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party
that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while
your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

Wayne

[schwim]

Hehe, that was a good one.

Is R2D2 wearing mouse ears?

thanks,
json

Originally Posted by schwim

Hehe, that was a good one.

Is R2D2 wearing mouse ears?

thanks,
json

That's a Dalek and I think something in his DNA mutated

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dalek

Wayne

[schwim]

sir, I think you're pulling my leg.

thanks,
json

Originally Posted by schwim

sir, I think you're pulling my leg.

thanks,
json

Now, why ever would I want to do a thing like that!? A chainsaw is much more effective

Wayne

[Dan]

Damn near clean off.

(open file, remove "trees," insert "legs."

http://forums.fedoraforum.org/forum/...&postcount=185


Dan

Originally Posted by TangledWeb

Damn near clean off.

I sent the Dalek to exterminate the rodent for schwim, but the little blighter is tougher than I thought!

Wayne

[Dan]

It's like a bloody virus! Anything that gets close gets infected! In fact, I'm wondering if we shouldn't all be wearing tyvek and latex gloves.

Originally Posted by TangledWeb

It's like a bloody virus! Anything that gets close gets infected! In fact, I'm wondering if we shouldn't all be wearing tyvek and latex gloves.

I want this for the train ride into town

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7038686.stm

Wayne